I may not understand

Front: I may not understand, but I love you, son...

Inside: I feel like a ball of confusion right now, with so many thoughts and feelings running through me.

I don't understand what's going on with you or why, not wanting to accept or believe... Wondering what I could have done differently, the shame of feelings of being ashamed of you, my son.

Right now I cannot say that I'm okay with your lifestyle, because I am not! Please understand that I am going to need some time with this. So I just don't know what to say!

I do want to say something because I know you need me right now, perhaps more than ever.

So, what can I say and what I do know is that you are my son and I'll always love you!